重逢

今天总算安安分分地呆在家里，整理房间﹑洗洗衣服，做做家务。回想起来真的很久没在周末呆在家里了，可能渐渐地习惯以前一个人的日子了。几个月前的我就是一个坐不定的人，就像屁股有刺似的，无论如何都会找朋友去逛街喝茶来消磨时间。看来有些事情的改变，人都会跟着改变。究竟是好是坏，还是需要一些时间才能定断。但对本人来说，是一件好得不得了的改变。

最近觉得自己怪怪的，无端端会回想一些根本不值得一提的小事情，然后人就变得心情低落。虽然最后全发泄在健身房的脚踏车上，但第二天同样的事情再次发生。没办法，谁叫我有一个喜欢有事没事就喜欢回忆的脑袋? 口味可换，衣服可换，性格可换，脑袋总不能了吧? 但不令我不觉得佩服的是，我不开心的心情，身边的朋友没有几个发觉到，反而不常见面的朋友突然在Facebook 里问起我什么事情令我心情低落。我好奇地问回他什么使他那样问我，他的回答才让我吓一跳。他说只看我的Facebook就知道了，我顿时心想他有那么神吗，因为我的Facebook 也没写过什么，用猜的哪有那么准？David，你领我佩服得五体投地。

星期一参加了一个饭局，一个朋友的生日饭局。也可说成是"化妆舞会"吧，因为开心的面具无论喜欢或讨厌，还是要把它给戴上，因为我才不要把主人家的兴致给破坏掉呐，说到底还是人家生日的正日嘛。不懂有多少人可以感觉到我在那个饭局里吃得有多么的不自然，但可以肯定的是，那餐是绝对值得的。看着寿星女开心的模样，付出那一点点真的不算什么。但有点遗憾的，就是精心安排的惊喜全被破坏掉了。失眠了几天想出来的惊喜，就这样被白费掉了。我真的气得一句话都说不出，因为我最讨厌当我放了很多心机下去的东西，到头来我得到的却是"零"。好了，从今以后这些东西我会可免则免，因为我真的不喜欢那种失望的感觉。

大合照

我和寿星女

今天早上毫无准备之下被朋友叫去interview，感觉真的怪怪的。Interview从来没有那么的轻松过，这反而令我觉得担心。那个老板一句都没问到关于我要求的薪水，只是问一些例常的问题，例如住哪里，有什么工作经验，为什么要辞职bla bla bla….　从朋友口中知道这个老板没什么脾气，在那里的老员工工作了八年都没看过他发脾气，看来去那里工作是件好事，但是否雇用我还是不能肯定咯。离开前也是平常那句:" I'll give you a call then, thanks for coming…." 其实我去interview的公司就在我现在公司的斜对面，不懂改天碰到“旧”老板会不会尴尬。嘻嘻。神经病，人家还在考虑当中啦，说请我才算啦。

前几天在facebook找回很旧没联络的朋友，这种重逢的感觉真好，希望别再失去联络了，不懂人家想念你的吗？哈哈...

学习

有朋友告诉我，治疗分手后的伤，最好的方法就是再次谈恋爱，让自己投向另一段新感情，渐渐地就会把以前的事情忘记。虽然我赞成这个是个好方法，但绝对不认同。如果两个人是相爱的那还可以接受，但如果只是把别人当成浮生圈，或代替品，那和一般无良心的人有什么分别呢? 就因为要治疗自己而要别人付出没有结果的爱情，我宁愿不要。上天是很公平的，做的坏事多，总有一天会接受惩罚，只是时间上的问题而已。

前天早上睡迟了，张开眼睛已经是八点早上。我连忙跳起床，冲进冲凉房梳洗。我的牙刷可说是“挂”在墙上的。当我心急，一手用力把牙刷一扯，挂着我牙刷的塑胶盒子掉了。我的冲凉房也不是很大，但是无论如何我都找不回塑胶盒子的另一半。只剩下..........

时间不多的我，没再理会那么琐碎的事了，上班不迟到才是最重要。我尝试回到家再去冲凉房再找一次，匪夷所思的是，那另一块就是怎么也找不回来，最后我还是放弃了。当我坐下来无聊时，我突然回想，难道这是上天给我的一些指示？暗示我失去了的就算了吧，无论我如何努力都没有可能再找回我要那另一半。我可以做的，只有去找一个新的。如何伤心都是没用的，因为没有人会同情你，反而会说你是窝囊废。

看了“仁心解码”的第13集，方中信在其中一幕里说了一句很对的话。他说：“感情总会有离离合合，如果挽回不到，就要学习接受。”学习，就代表了有失败的可能，但能从失败中学习到，才是最重要。我承认我还是不能完全放下，但最起码我认真地在学习着，跌倒了，就要重新站起来，坐在地上大哭，只会令自己变得更无能，同时被人看不起。我总不相信失去你就没办法生活，我就是要告诉你，我会比以前更开心。

无奈

虽然已经过了一个星期，但是我对那件事的记忆依旧那么的清晰。她的每一句话，眼神，神情，反应，都一一在我脑海中挥之不去。我以为全情投入于工作就会渐渐地把它忘记，但实在是很难很难。无论我怎么去逃避，尽量不去想，到最后还是徒劳无功。真的掩饰得很辛苦，但为了不添朋友们的麻烦，只好继续带着开心的面具示人。明明自己知道无论怎么做都不会将结局改变，但最后还是忍不住悲伤。 我真的不想再为了一个不值得的人而伤心，但我实在是控制不到。上天给我的这个考验实在是太难了，就像让一个初学者做着上级任务一样。我试着告诉自己不要对不值得的东西再付出任何时间，在以为成功之际，到最后还是失败了。我尝试很多方法去忘记，却没有一个有效。难道这个伤口就是那么难痊愈吗？我的心总是把我的脑打败了，彻彻底底地打败了。我真的很想把头撞向墙壁，让我丧失记忆了不就好了吗?

KNNCCB

SEI SOH HAI!! U GO DIE LA!!

IF UR HOUSE DUN HAVE MIRROR,

PLEASE USE UR URINE TO SEE HOW U LOOK LIKE SIN

DUN EVERYDAY FAT HOU IN FRONT OF THE MALE STAFFS

TAI SEI U SURELY BECOME LOU GU POH

JUST WAIT BA LA

Sounds Stupid

I have a feeling want to take sleeping pil and sleep till I die. So many thing I need to fan recently. I feel tired of that already. I know that I cannot try to avoid those fan stuffs. But sometimes I really dunno what I can do to make the things better. I tried, tried and tired... But what I can get? Is "nothing".... Can anyone please tell me what step I should take next? I just feel that I have zero benefit. What I want to do also cannot be completed. I begin to rub my eyes, coz what I saw all become grey colour. I feel that is no more colourful thing in my life.

I feel nervous... I feel lonely.. I afraid the dream I had last night will come true.. I can't sleep back after I woke up from tat bad dream. I see the time with my handphone. It showed 5.16am. It just a normal screen that without any miss call or sms. I was stairing the ceiling for almost an hour before I get up to bath and get ready to work. Without my glasses and the light on, I took my mp3 player and play it loud in my ears. I begin feel down when I heard the song named "Touch My Hand" from David Archuleta. I feel helpless.

Today was another boring day for me in office. I thought I can concentrate my work so that I have no time wasted on simply think on something useless. I quite busy for whole morning and afternoon. But at the time I almost get rid of those fan stuffs in my mind, my colleague asked me to stop accessing the file I was doing as he need to make some amendment in the file which cannot be amended in other pc if I open it in my pc. He said he will take long time on doing the amendment. Which mean, I have nothing to do before he finish his work. I thought I can call my friend for a short talk, it ended up with my phone out of credit and I dun even have chance to listen the "hello" from her. WTF... The colleague who fetch me back told me that she will go back on 10pm, PROVIDED she able to finish her work in time. I almost scold all her zou zong 18 doi in my heart. No choice, who ask me need to tumpang ppl's car? I forced to show a "nothing happen before" face. Other than that, I dunno what reaction I can give to her already.

I no need to work on tomorrow but I still have a lot of thing waiting for me to do. I wondering I can gao dim all those things in one day. Just cross my fingers that things will go smoothly tomorrow. Hopefully got someone can accompany me to go as well.

Kuantan Trip

Finally result was out this monday. I feel happy that I passed 1 out of the 3 papers. My colleague was looking at me with a strange face when I told her I failed another 2 papers and yet I still can't hide my happiness. Probably she dunno how hard ACCA paper is. Sometimes really need some luck when doing exam, just like Adelyn who get 50marks for her P1 paper. But then she deserved to pass the paper as she really put effort when she was doing her revision. I can't blame anyone but my own self as I not really that concentrate on study before exam. Funny thing was, I passed the paper which I have the least confidence. The one I have most confidence not even close to passing mark..

~8 marks to pass... pui hao sui..

Having a trip in Kuantan last week. Although no hand for me to hold when walking on street, I still enjoy the trip. Valentine's day fell on Saturday this year. Dunno I can't feel it or Kuantan ppl not popular in celebrating Valentine's day. That Saturday just like a normal Saturday. Eventhough was Valentine's day, we have our dinner at Satey Zul, a restaurant which is always having good business and suitable for bringing whole family go and eat. Which means, say nicer is meriah, if say bad geh, is noisy. The food there is nice, thats why we surely go there everytime we go to Kuantan.

We went to Cherating beach before Satey Zul. Finally I went before Club Med...................'s main enterence. We failed to find that part of Cherating beach we wanted to go, due to getting older and memory power is losing. At the end we still went to Cherating beach, but only not tat interesting as the one we wanted to go....

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Cherating Beach~

.Kuantan Version of AE86

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We left Kuantan at early morning as KY need rush back to KL for helping his dad. We officially depart to KL after had our breakfast at house of adeyn's grandparent. On the journey back to KL, KY received a call and he had been told tat the problem settle already. Which mean he no longer need rush back to KL. At the same time, we heard another news tat our area will have electricity cut off until 7pm. So they decided to have a trip to Genting before back to KL. I begin to worry coz later I have to take the scarest transport in Genting, CABLE CAR!! I juz dunno why I can't calm myself when sitting on cable car. Actually Genting not a suitable place for me to visit. I dun go into theme park, neither casino. Cold air? my house got air cond one la. >.<

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I felt nervous on the night we reach KL. My mind just can't take off from ACCA result which coming out tomolo. At the end, I bring my panda eyes when going to work.

Boring Day

I sat at my place form 8.30am until now. But the actual hour I've work was only 3-4 hours. I really can't believe that nothing for me to do. I actually sit here and wait for my colleague to fetch me home. I just finished watched one episod of Bleach animation. Now I can spend my working time to update my blog. You can imagine how free I am right now. I work onli few days a week also nothing for me to do, I really dunno what is the meaning I come to work this week. i believe tomolo will be another boring day. I'm still thinking whether want to ponteng tomolo or not. Really not a good taste sitting at office and do nothing. I rather I have a lot of work to do until I dun have time to think something useless.

Sometimes really hope this world got medicine that can make a person forget something. When I was a child, I always hope want to become adult faster. But now I regret to have that "dream" already. When I was looking at my cousin who only 7 years old, I rather I become him. No worries, no pressure, have many people sayang...............

Exam is coming out soon. Just 2 days after Valentine's day. Want happy jao happy first. When get the result, surely no mood till eat dragon meat aslo no taste. Really scare to see the result this time. Everytime I have confidence to pass those papers, at the end surely disappointed one. Maybe put too much hope in liao. If this time fail all papers, probably will working and stop further my study for this semester. Or maybe buy some coal and suicide lo. No need waste parent's money anymore..

I think I will fall sick soon. Throat again not feeling well liao, plus abit headache and dizzy. It makes me mou wai hou to eat anything at all. But still the stomach "making complaint" eventhough I din feel hungry at all. Appetite comes back abit when the first bite of Lou Poh Bang. Thanks to Miss Lee for the Lou Poh Bang~~

Chinese New Year Eve

Chinese New Year of this year falls on 26th of January, which all the people also feel it is too early. Normally Chinese New Year will be at beginning or mid of February. I think because of this, I begin to clean my house few days before the Chinese New Year. I still lan lan han on the week before cny. Then we end up with cleaning the house like hell. I can say I clean the house from day to night. Luckily my brother came back and help once he finish his exam on Friday. If dependant on the 2 other fella, I think next year cny also not yet finish to clean my house.

Besides cleaning my house, I did shopping on the cny stuffs. I really hate to buy the packet drinks. Because of this stupid packet drinks, I hurt my back. Suddenly feel that I really old liao. Sikit sikit then hurt myself. Next time cannot be hero like that anymore. I feel a bit excited on the first time using my dad’s credit card to buy stuffs at Central supermarket. I know it is against the rules, but then my dad just lazy to go and buy himself. No choice lo, I mai practice how to sign his name under his teaching for 5 minutes. But I think at the end the cashier also can’t do much if they realize the signature is not really the same with the signature at the back of the card.

Dinner of new year eve this year a bit different from the past. Normally we will cook ourselves then eat at grandmom’s house with all the family members. This year have some changes. This year we had our dinner at Mont Kiara. Due to my aunty married to malay, then we choose to have dinner at a halal restaurant. And that restaurant kononnya “halal Tai Thong”… Dinner suppose started on 7.00pm. Due to the “not punctual” culture having in my family, the dinner started around 8.30pm. I almost die of starving…..

Siblings with Bou Bou Queen

Chun Ga Fuk~

After the dinner, we went back and prepare the praying stuffs. Mouth say is going to help, but at the end I only cross my hands and “monitor” while chit chat. I begin to pui fuk myself that I still can chat with my cousins and aunties till 3.30am eventhough I clean the house from day till night.

Wish everyone having good health and prosperity. May you all have a great and wonderful year ahead.. Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

Tired

Sometimes I just feel that why I want to be jin guat tao like that. This time really loh lei jin one somemore. If that time I stand tough and insist to reject it, I think I won’t say like that today. Now I was like torturing myself few times a week. But then now complain also no use, who asks me soft hearted just because of few words from him? I really tired of this already. It is not just only tired physically, but mentally as well.

I wonder why my company needs to be shifted from PJ to Shah Alam. Although my colleague fetching me to work, but travelling long way to work really a torturing job. I sit on car only already feel tired, I don’t know how my colleagues can tahan everyday drive so far to work. I salute to their spirit of not giving up and power of tolerance.

I tumpang my colleague’s car to my working place. I know I already consider hang fuk as I don’t need to pay a single cent for my colleague even she send me to work. What I need to do is just wake up on time and put my butt on the car seat until I reach my office and do the same for going back home. But sometimes it is really not convenience especially when I want to go home earlier and she need to stay back in order to finish her work. I feel sorry to ask her go back earlier as her work will be accumulated if she didn’t finish it on the day.

This company a bit toh sui gah one. It shifted to a new developed industrial area which can’t be searched through GPS and any map on internet. Which mean? San ka la area loh. Worst thing is location map was not put in company website as well. Somemore can tell other people that it is 4th biggest logistics company in the world. Really amat menge-toh-sui-kan. I think I call for help till I lost my voice also nobody can come in and save me. It is hard to see other living creature there other than trees and human who forced to work, which mean even the wild cats and dogs also not interested to this area.

The power supply still not yet stable even we shifted to the new office almost a month. Our pc will be turned off and the office will become all dark in a sudden. For those who didn’t save their work, sorry lah. You need to do it again. Same thing goes to the centralized air cond as well. Suddenly I can feel I entered into desert a minute ago, and jump into North Pole in next few minutes. I sick for 2 weeks really thanks to contribution of the stupid air cond.

One thing nice to the new office is the environment had changed. We have brand new table, bigger pantry, self owned toilet which no need to share with other company, bigger car parking space, better security and fresher air.

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Company Front View

.Pantry

.Toilet

.My Table~

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I will leaving this hell place soon. Really nge seh dak to some colleagues who always sayang me, and say bye bye and hou wui mou kei to some of that stupid people who think they're holy, innocent and clever in the office, instead they're only know shoe polishing, busy body and back stabbing.